I recently found out some very disturbing things. I learned about lies that were told pertaining to my family, and finally found an explanation for some of the questions I had about my former church "family."
The sad part about this is the betrayal and blatant deception that occured. *Someone* cared more about their salary then people lives, and used his authority and position to deceive a whole congregation of people who admired and respected him. There is no way to excuse the "story" that was told. Had there been a small measure of logical truth, maybe I could see past it. But it is ridiculous! Maybe its the white hair and fatherly voice that made everyone lose their ability to personally and logically think through a situation and analyze what was being fed to them. I don't really know, but looking back now its obvious that a lot of people fell for it, hook, line and sinker.
Another thing I can't entirely understand is why almost nobody took the time to find out the truth. No wonder Christians are hated, laughed at and ridiculed by secular culture. For the most part, they are dumb! Jesus was right when He said they were His sheep. They follow blindly anyone who looks like they may know something about anything. Whatever they say is obviously truth, didn't you know? And rather than taking the time to find out for themselves, they move on to the newest worship song or motivational speaker or some such other bullshit.
And while I am glad to have more of the truth in the light, 6 years later, the fallout will be brutal. The "where do I go from here" is painful and uncomfortable. But I know a few things. I will not back down, no matter how hard it is for me or the people around me. I will not be quiet anymore. And I am no longer going to pretend to be "okay" with that man. He or his wife will never again be part of my life, as much as in my power to see that happens.
In the last 6 years, one thing that I have forever lost is my innocence. I can never go back to blind trust, and quiet obedience. I no longer believe that all authority is to be respected. And never again will I believe that a church is a safe place. On the contrary, sadly, experience has taught me that it is a place where predators are protected (shit, welcomed!), and there are more lies being shoved down your throat than on a used car lot. And that lose of trust, innocence, and faith is greatly the result of one stuck up, deceitful, and selfish bastard's desire to "not make waves" no matter if the cost was an entire family.
Too bad I wish my story was unique, but in the "Body of Christ," its not, and in the 15 years we went there, I am dying to know the truth about the people who "went on sabbatical."
So there ya have it. I know this is prety direct, and I appreciate the people in my life who have chosen to believe the truth and be true examples of Christ in their daily lives.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
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